I have been waiting for the right time to write this post. i was waiting for inspiration and context. I think I finally have it.

Ron and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years now. We have been under a fertility specialist’s care since September of last year. We have had some loss and a lot of waiting for the next month when we will finally get pregnant.

A few things, first, I am not looking for pity or people to feels sorry for me. This process sucks. It’s depressing and extremely frustrating but overall, I have a wonderful life. I have 2 amazing parents who are supportive and loving. I have hands down the most amazing husband. I want for nothing. I eat well. I do yoga. I love my dog, my house and I live in a gorgeous area. It’s not that I don’t get sad or upset, it’s just that I don’t need any pity. I have a great life. Second, I am 25 and in great health. I walk everyday. I eat well. I take pretty decent care of myself. My infertility is considered unexplained. I also go to a regionally recognized doctor, who possesses the most up-to-date and cutting edge technology. Additionally, he has the best personality and thinks I am hilarious. Lastly, if you are my friend and you are pregnant, I am beyond happy for you. Don’t feel shy about sharing your joy with me. I am just jealous. I want getting pregnant to be that easy for me, too.

So, tomorrow. UGH. I was not looking forward to it to begin with, but when we didn’t get pregnant last month, I called the doctor’s office, as is the usual, but they told me that this month we are going to be moving into the super-sonic realm of injectable fertility drugs. We also already planned a visit to the hospital for IVF counseling. So, tomorrow, Ron will be learning how to inject drugs into me. Then, we are going to the IVF center for orientation and a tour. This is totally stressing me out. I mean, I know that I am not having success getting pregnant on my own or with the oral drugs, but this just feels like a huge leap into the serious shit. I am also deathly afraid of needles even when a trained professional is welding them. And while I love my husband, he is not a trained healthcare professional. Yikes!

So, I hope that in the coming months, you’ll indulge me as I try to interpret my fertility experiences. This ride has already been really emotional and hard, but it seems that the journey is going to continue. I am just extremely thankful for my family and friends. You all make this as bearable as possible. I am hoping that soon, I will be able to share the happy part of this experience.

Think of us tomorrow, we need all the prayers we can get!