I have been waiting for the right time to write this post. i was waiting for inspiration and context. I think I finally have it.
Ron and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years now. We have been under a fertility specialist’s care since September of last year. We have had some loss and a lot of waiting for the next month when we will finally get pregnant.
A few things, first, I am not looking for pity or people to feels sorry for me. This process sucks. It’s depressing and extremely frustrating but overall, I have a wonderful life. I have 2 amazing parents who are supportive and loving. I have hands down the most amazing husband. I want for nothing. I eat well. I do yoga. I love my dog, my house and I live in a gorgeous area. It’s not that I don’t get sad or upset, it’s just that I don’t need any pity. I have a great life. Second, I am 25 and in great health. I walk everyday. I eat well. I take pretty decent care of myself. My infertility is considered unexplained. I also go to a regionally recognized doctor, who possesses the most up-to-date and cutting edge technology. Additionally, he has the best personality and thinks I am hilarious. Lastly, if you are my friend and you are pregnant, I am beyond happy for you. Don’t feel shy about sharing your joy with me. I am just jealous. I want getting pregnant to be that easy for me, too.
So, tomorrow. UGH. I was not looking forward to it to begin with, but when we didn’t get pregnant last month, I called the doctor’s office, as is the usual, but they told me that this month we are going to be moving into the super-sonic realm of injectable fertility drugs. We also already planned a visit to the hospital for IVF counseling. So, tomorrow, Ron will be learning how to inject drugs into me. Then, we are going to the IVF center for orientation and a tour. This is totally stressing me out. I mean, I know that I am not having success getting pregnant on my own or with the oral drugs, but this just feels like a huge leap into the serious shit. I am also deathly afraid of needles even when a trained professional is welding them. And while I love my husband, he is not a trained healthcare professional. Yikes!
So, I hope that in the coming months, you’ll indulge me as I try to interpret my fertility experiences. This ride has already been really emotional and hard, but it seems that the journey is going to continue. I am just extremely thankful for my family and friends. You all make this as bearable as possible. I am hoping that soon, I will be able to share the happy part of this experience.
Think of us tomorrow, we need all the prayers we can get!
I heart you.
apparently I should read your blog more often. yikes. I empathize with the dislike for needles.
good luck with the new process.
my boss actually went through the same process with his wife, and they now have beautiful 1 year old twins. it is possible! it does happen!! thinking of you!!!
haven’t been checking in with you much…sorry to know you guys had to go through so much!!! but you sound amazingly upbeat still which is wonderful! Every time I hear my pregnant girl friends complain about morning sickness I think of the ones who have or had to try so hard to even have that luck, like my sister, and Jane, both of whom now have lovely child/children. One thing for sure, once you get pregnant, even throwing up will feel awesome! All the best wishes~
You did it
Congrats on baby Zachary!
(just caught this blog a second ago btw)